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religious-penis:

I have had sleeping pills and a nice amount of weed. Guys, idek what’s going on right now haha. Who wants to chat?

Oh god, my sister has now crawled into my bed and is cuddling up to me and telling me i smell weird. What’s wrong with you, go sleep in your own room. Not cuddle time. I give you plenty opportunities to cuddle, but you choose the most inappropriate time. 

religious-penis:

There is a drunk elderly man walking up and down my street screaming the end is near. He has no shoes and no shirt on. Should i be worried or

update. he got arrested. apparently he took a giant shit on a car, vandalized school property and assaulted a man who came outside and told him to shut the fuck up…